Felix Zimmer Blog
For those of you not familiar with this occasional blog, be advised that I have a pretty strong “old is the new young” attitude. Pollyanna I am not. I just can’t help noticing that there’s a lot to said for ageing if we approach it with an inventive spirit.
This week I’m looking at inventiveness in the face of death. Interesting phrase: the face of death. We’ll come back to that another time. At this time my mother, who lives in New York, is dying. I’ve been sitting with her, holding her hand, dealing with some of the messy side, and trying to be sure she suffers as little as possible.
It is our immense good fortune that she’s getting Home Hospice care. Where she lives, this is being supplied by the Visiting Nurse Service of New York (VNSNY). There are also home hospice and hospice options in Britain. My best friend and his family had his later days and passing much eased by home hospice help in Suffolk.
The home hospice approach is international, and when you see it done well it’s one of the most amazing things human beings can do for each other.
VNSNY make sure the dying person has the right medication, constantly adjusted 24/7 to ease suffering as much as possible. They show family and carers how to help in a loving, supportive and effective way. Their social worker makes sure all the family members and carers have as much help and advice as they need to handle the emotional and practical events. Their doctor, nurse and social worker teams help everyone do the best that can be done, let go and say goodbye well for the dying person and for themselves, and appreciate the spiritual nature of this journey (without imposing any particular religion). They show family and carers what the common signs, symptoms and processes of dying are, and how to both ease and accept them.
Good hospice and home hospice providers like this are ministering angels on a practical and spiritual level I never thought to see. If you’re dealing with the prospect of an approaching death, seek them out.
- Felix Zimmer, MGP
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